"If you want something you have to just take it"

I am always astounded by the power of WORDS. A few sentences can make me reflect on the scope of my life, no matter how mundane, routine or regular.  Of lately I have been uncomfortably content with my life.  I know that the direction that I have chosen to take is not remotely the the path I believe had been laid out, never mind wanted.  Yet, I have become accustomed to and used to my routine day after day.  Still it is not what I want. What am I waiting for?  When am I going to turn my self loose again?  If I really wanted everything, why have I not already taken it?  Love... Happiness...Bliss....

I have taken something, my friends, friends are so important ( some take this for granted).  I  dam sure have made some bad, I mean bad choices in the 41 years on this planet ( that dam poor judgment in character and trusting people to much too soon) , but  the friends I have now are the most amazing people that I could ever ask for they are more of a family to me in this day and age then my real family (except my sweet Mom .  I am so lucky to have them, they make me feel loved, wanted, and special.  In my group of friends there are some that are a  breed of even more fantastic people that I would defend to the death, kill for, have a place in my heart and would be devastated if  they were not there.  These are the people that keep me going and alive.   I LOVE them till the day I die and beyond.

Life continues much the same as before, Work, sleep, friends, arguments, those random moments of debauchery, drugs, alcohol.   The never ending spiral that has become my life,  my dam fucking life over the past five years. In my mind there always was a light ahead ab big bright light, now there is  a small light ahead, however much my heart, my jaded, cold, bitter, broken, caged, walled up heart disagrees.  When did my life become so normal?  I used to have goals, dreams, passions,  and a light in my eyes that saw endless possibilities.  Now they are simply wisps of smokey air that fall through my fingers.  I think back at how  I wanted my life to be and I almost can't remember what I wanted.  In my line of work  I meet many, many different types of people of all walks of lives, of all religions, all nationalities, sexes and genders, but they all mesh into  one, just  a human being.  Strangely I remember drinks not names........


Well that is enough ranting for now. I send Big Bear Hugs and Licks to All with much Beary Love from RJ The Bear

The New Year 2010 Who the hell whould have ever Thought....

Well first off, I can not believe it is 2010 and I am still here, hell I should have been dead ages ago , with all the car accidents I have had , hospital stays and the 2 times certain people tried to kill me ( I know I can be a bitch but come on LOL ) .  When we were younger and that was a long long time ago  much much longer for some of my friends ( said with LOVE) that we would be living now and not saying 1986 or something. Gone are the 1960's the 1970's the 1980's the 1990's  and now  here we are. So I want to wish all Happy 2010.  Now I want to get everyone on the same page.  Almost all that I have asked are calling the year 2010 Twenty Ten not I repeat NOT two thousand ten.  Nine out of Ten Queers agree Twenty Ten sounds so much better, more futuristic.  So make sure we all use this and let  any one you meet know this, till the end of the month you can still say Happy New Year or Happy Twenty Ten.

Lets take a moment and remember life is so short, it goes by so quick especially as we get older months are like weeks years like months and you know it is true and in the entire spectrum of things we are only here for a blink of time.  Take this new year as a time to enjoy things that you thought were silly or frivolous.  Slow down and relax, ENJOY,  you can still be efficant at anything and not get yourself stressed and crazy, we can do this at home or work. Lets help each other more, life is hard and harder for a lot of others that are in your life, put out that hand, listen to them, help them, lets be more human and thoughtful.  Don't walk in front of people and bump into them say hi and excuse me, and all that stuff your mother taught you ( remember her the one in the apron shaking her finger at you with a rolling pin behind her back) she was on to something there.  Say hi to people when you catch each others eye on the train, bus anywhere, do not just turn away and stare blankly in to space (hate that) If you are some where  and you catch an eye say hi how are you, have a nice day, take care something.  I mean I know it is not just me i see it all over people are rude, selfish and mean now a days and it just pisses me off.   Use your manors, respect people,  be kind, if you have nothing positive or good to say curb it and  move on. What ever we do has a consequence, karma is real and it will come back to kick you in the ass.  Oh  and we can do all of this on the internet also,  being online does not  make it ok to be rude, mean , nasty, inhuman.  Come on people it will come back to you in some form, trust me it has bitten me in ass BIG time in the past...  I know all my friends can and I hope  who ever joins  my blog will agree with all of this.

Well that is enough ranting for now. I send Big Bear Hugs and Licks to All with much Beary Love from RJ The Bear